Smiling Through It: High-Functioning Depression During the Holidays

“Smiling through it” is rarely a choice. It’s more often something people feel expected to do, especially during the holidays when functioning well is mistaken for being fine.

Depression during the holidays doesn’t always look like sadness that stops you in your tracks. For many high-achieving adults, it looks like showing up anyway. You’re still working, still attending events, still replying to texts, still smiling for photos. On the outside, everything seems fine. On the inside, something feels flat, heavy, or disconnected.

The holidays tend to magnify this experience. There’s more pressure to be present, grateful, joyful, and social. When your internal state doesn’t match the season’s expectations, it can create a quiet emotional tension that’s hard to name but exhausting to carry.

High-functioning depression isn’t a formal diagnosis, but it’s a real and common experience. It describes people who continue to meet responsibilities while feeling emotionally depleted, numb, or disconnected. Depression during the holidays can intensify this pattern because routines shift, expectations rise, and emotional comparisons become unavoidable.

Holiday messaging often centers togetherness, tradition, and joy. If you’re feeling lonely, grieving, burned out, or emotionally distant, that contrast can make your internal experience feel more isolating. You may question yourself for not feeling the way you’re supposed to, even while doing everything right on paper.

Research shows that people who maintain high levels of functioning often go longer without support because their distress is easier to overlook. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, depression does not always present as visible withdrawal or inability to function, especially in adults who are used to pushing through emotional discomfort.

Depression during the holidays often lives in the in-between moments.

You might notice yourself:

• Moving through conversations on autopilot

• Feeling oddly detached from gatherings you used to enjoy

• Counting down the minutes until you can leave events early

There’s often a push and pull happening at the same time.
A desire to isolate.
And a quiet longing to feel connected.

Some people feel emotionally muted while everyone else seems turned up. Others feel irritable, overwhelmed by social demands, or guilty for wanting space.

You may still be hosting, gifting, organizing, and supporting others, all while feeling unseen or emotionally tired underneath it all.

Because high-functioning depression doesn’t disrupt daily life in obvious ways, it often goes unspoken. Many people assume they just need to get through the season and things will feel better afterward.

Often, the emotional weight lingers.

The holidays remove many of the distractions that help keep emotions at bay.

Work schedules change.
Routines loosen.
There’s more time to reflect, remember, and compare.

Family dynamics, past losses, and unresolved stressors tend to resurface, even if no one is talking about them out loud.

Depression during the holidays is also shaped by expectation. There’s an unspoken belief that this season should feel meaningful or restorative.

When it doesn’t, many people turn that disappointment inward, assuming something is wrong with them rather than recognizing the emotional load they’re carrying.

That might mean:

• Leaving an event earlier without explaining yourself

• Skipping a gathering that feels draining instead of restorative

• Being honest with one trusted person that this season feels hard

High-functioning depression thrives on silence and self-containment.

Small, intentional relief points can interrupt that cycle. You don’t need a full emotional reset. You need moments where your internal experience is allowed to exist without being corrected or managed.

If you’re managing depression during the holidays while continuing to perform, lead, and show up, therapy can offer a different kind of support.

Not crisis care.
Not fixing what’s broken.
Space to be honest without carrying everything alone.

At Simplicity Psychotherapy, we support high-achieving adults in Atlanta and across Georgia who experience emotional numbness, burnout, and persistent low mood that often goes unnoticed.

Therapy can help you:

• Understand what you’re feeling

• Reduce emotional strain

• Develop steadier ways of moving through demanding seasons

If this resonates, contact us today to explore individual therapy for depression, support for burnout, or group therapy options designed for adults who look okay on the outside but need support on the inside.