Tired of Explaining Myself… Even in Therapy

You wouldn’t believe some of the stories I’ve heard.

Not just the pain or the trauma itself—but what clients had to go through in therapy just to be understood.

I’ve had people sit across from me and say:

“My last therapist asked me what code-switching was.”
“I tried to explain why I couldn’t just set a boundary with my mom, and she looked at me like I was being dramatic.”
“It felt like I was teaching a class, not getting help.”

And here’s the part that really gets them:
They weren’t talking about something wild or niche. They were describing things that feel completely normal to anyone who grew up juggling culture, expectations, and silence.

Let’s talk about what happens when therapy doesn’t feel like therapy.

You start holding back.
You second-guess your reactions.
You leave sessions wondering if maybe you’re the problem.

That’s what happens when your therapist doesn’t speak the same emotional language—or even try to learn it.

You might find yourself explaining things like:

• Why setting boundaries with your parents isn’t as simple as “just say no”

• What it feels like to be the only Black person in your department, again

• Why “respect” in your culture sometimes means staying silent, even when it hurts

• How you’ve learned to read every room, adjust every tone, and still feel like too much

And if you’ve ever walked out of therapy feeling more drained than when you walked in… you know what I’m talking about.

Black folks. Brown folks. First-gen kids. Children of immigrants. So many raised on different soil, but with the same emotional script:

Keep your head down.
Don’t make waves.
And whatever you do—don’t make anyone uncomfortable.

So when someone finally makes the leap to go to therapy… and then spends the whole session explaining why they think the way they do? That’s not just frustrating—it’s exhausting.

I get it—everyone’s upbringing is different. But sometimes a client will share how they were raised, how they were taught to handle stress, or how rest feels like guilt—and I think to myself:

How did we all live the same childhood?

Let’s be clear—this isn’t about finding a therapist who’s lived your exact life story. It’s about finding someone who approaches your story with cultural humility, curiosity, and care.

You don’t need someone who knows everything.
You need someone who knows they don’t—and doesn’t put that burden on you to fill in the gaps every session.

Therapists who are culturally attuned won’t flinch when you say “my family doesn’t talk about feelings.”
They won’t pathologize your silence or misunderstand your anger.
They’ll know that therapy isn’t just about individual healing—it’s also about unlearning what survival taught you.

At Simplicity Psychotherapy, we don’t just check a box that says “diverse.”
We live this work.

Our therapists are trained to recognize the cultural, generational, and emotional layers our clients carry—especially when those layers are wrapped in silence, performance, or pressure to “keep it together.”
And more importantly, many of us have been there.

We know that:

• You might not call it trauma—but your body still remembers.

• It’s not always safe to say how you really feel, even with family.

• High-achieving doesn’t mean unbothered.

• You’ve spent your whole life being the strong one.
  We’re not here to “fix” that. We’re here to understand it.

Whether you’re a Black professional navigating workplace code-switching, a South Asian woman quietly buckling under generational pressure, or a first-gen adult trying to find peace in a culture of sacrifice—you don’t have to explain all of that from scratch.
We already speak the language of complexity.

That doesn’t mean we know everything. It means we lead with respect, curiosity, and cultural humility—every time.

You’re not overreacting. You’re not asking for too much. You’re asking for care that fits.

Therapy should feel like relief, not more emotional labor. A place where you can exhale—not another place where you have to shrink, translate, or justify your existence.

You’ll know you’re in the right space when you don’t have to prove that your pain is real. You don’t have to shrink your experience to fit someone else’s lens.

You get to show up—messy, brilliant, complicated, exhausted—and be met with understanding, not confusion.

At Simplicity Psychotherapy, our therapists are here to support the whole you—culture, complexity, contradictions and all.

If you’ve been tired of explaining yourself, it might be time to try therapy that speaks your language.

🤎 Schedule a free 15-minute consultation today. Let’s make this feel different.
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